


Unbroken

by innerslytherin



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-15
Updated: 2010-01-15
Packaged: 2017-10-06 08:05:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innerslytherin/pseuds/innerslytherin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If someone swears an unbreakable vow, they cannot die until the vow is completed...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unbroken

**Author's Note:**

> They don't belong to me; if they were mine I'd treat them better. ^_~ Many, many thanks to my betas [](http://lore.insanejournal.com/profile)[**lore**](http://lore.insanejournal.com/) and [](http://aunty-marion.insanejournal.com/profile)[**aunty_marion**](http://aunty-marion.insanejournal.com/). Written for the [](http://asylums.insanejournal.com/lupin_snape/profile)[**lupin_snape**](http://asylums.insanejournal.com/lupin_snape/) Resurrection Fest.

Remus let himself into Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, longing for a steamy shower, a hot cup of tea, and a warm bed. He had managed to make excuses to be away from the werewolf pack for a night, for the first time since he'd joined Greyback's pack. He knew Severus would be expecting him; the spy had replied to his message with a tersely-worded, "Will await you." All the same, Remus almost hoped he would have time to have a shower before Severus demanded his report. In the three months that he'd been with the wolves, he'd only managed a handful of hot showers; the rest of the time he was getting by on splashing in the pond or using cleaning charms.

No such luck. Hearing noises from the kitchen, Remus went to the top of the stairs and peered down. Severus was just coming up, carrying a tray and frowning, but his expression lightened when he saw Remus. "Lupin, good, you're here."

That was unexpected. Remus blinked at him. "Hello, Severus. How are you?"

"Keeping well enough," the spy replied. "And you?"

That was _also_ unexpected. Remus shrugged. "As well as can be expected. I'm weary, filthy, and hungry, but I am...not unwell."

"Here." Severus took Remus' elbow and guided him upstairs to the first-floor drawing room. "Have some chocolate." He glanced ironically at Remus. "It helps."

Gobsmacked, Remus nevertheless took the chocolate. He would _never_ turn down free chocolate. "Thank you, Severus," he said. "Look, would you mind awfully if I had a quick shower? I feel disgusting."

"Take your time," Severus said.

Remus frowned. "What did I give you our sixth year?"

Severus blinked at him. "A bad scare," he replied sourly. "It's a bit late to think of asking security questions now, Lupin. I am who I say I am. And yes, it really is Tobias, and yours is John."

Well, it had to be Severus, he thought, but the man was being uncharacteristically nice. Remus shrugged. "My apologies. I'll be quick." He gave Severus a half-smile and left the drawing room to get clean clothes from Sirius' wardrobe, which hadn't been cleared out after his death. To his surprise, Severus followed. Remus raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything until Severus followed him to the bathroom as well.

"Did you need something else?" he asked.

Severus had a tea cup and saucer in his hands. "I made you some tea."

Remus frowned at him. "Thank you. As I said, I'll be quick." He shut the door in Severus' face, but not before he'd accepted the tea.

 

When he got out of the shower, Severus was sitting in the drawing room, reading a book and drinking Firewhiskey. He looked up when Remus entered.

"Feel better?"

"Immensely." Remus would assert until his dying day that there were very few ills in life that a hot shower and a hot cup of tea couldn't ease.

"Would you like something to eat?"

"Not right now, thanks." Remus tilted his head, studying Severus. "Forgive me for saying this, but you've never been this nice to me before. Did my mum die?" He hated to think it, but he couldn't imagine any reason why Severus would do this.

Severus sighed. "Perhaps I want something from you."

Remus just waited.

"The Dark Lord has ordered me to seduce you."

Remus stared, unable to find a single word to say in response to that.

"He has had it from Pettigrew that you are a member of the Order, or were the first time around. Greyback has been keeping an eye on you, and he says he's certain you're out for yourself ever since Dumbledore let you down, but the Dark Lord is not satisfied. Because he knows that--again, from Wormtail--that I followed you all around at school, and that you apparently tried to _protect_ me more than I realised at the time--" Severus' mouth twisted slightly, "he has given me a special assignment. He wants me to seduce you, so as to tie you to me."

"He--doesn't believe what you tell him?" Remus managed.

"I told him I wasn't sure," Severus said. "I must carefully mix truths with lies, Lupin. But I did agree to find out."

"And Voldemort wants you to seduce me." The idea was intriguing, but Severus couldn't possibly understand…

Severus winced at the name, but didn't remark. "If I seduce you, you will take me as your mate. It would be proof enough for the Dark Lord that your loyalty would be to me, rather than to Dumbledore."

Remus gaped. _Mated_? Severus wanted to be _mated_? "Severus..." he said weakly.

The dour man held up one slender hand to forestall argument. "I am well aware of the risks. I know that if you are separated from me for too long you will pine, perhaps sicken and die. I know that you will be possessive. I know that I will probably feel possessive myself. I know that it is a bond that cannot be broken."

"Do you know that it involves sex?" Remus asked.

Severus arched an eyebrow. "I am not a complete idiot, Lupin."

"And...you're all right with that."

"I have no choice. The Dark Lord wants it." But Severus' expression softened a little. "I cannot say I am best pleased by the idea--I have already tied myself to two men, one until the end of the war, and one until he dies or I do. I certainly never intended to marry--" His voice faltered for a moment, then he went on. "But, circumstances being what they are, I have no real objections, Lupin. You are tolerably good-looking as well as intelligent. And I believe you are fair-minded enough not to use it against me, despite all Boggartly evidence to the contrary."

Remus shook his head. "This is a big step, Severus--" he began, and was interrupted.

"The Dark Lord's trust in me is all that will win this war, Lupin."

"You are aware that _you_ are just as likely to pine for me, if we are separated?" Remus asked. "While it's true that werewolves succumb more easily and decline more quickly, a human mated to a werewolf will exhibit the same symptoms, eventually." He lifted a hand to rub at his forehead. He'd known for a fortnight that Severus wanted to meet with him, but he hadn't ever imagined _this_ was the reason behind it. "You'll _want_ me, Severus. It's something that goes deep--blood magic, Dark magic, in the sense that it's a blood bond between a Dark creature and another party."

"It's also possible one of us, or both of us, will be killed during the war," Severus pointed out, his voice curt with impatience. "I am aware of the risks I take, always, but I do not allow the fear of a risk to affect how I live."

"But to bind yourself to me, Severus, for all our lives--"

"Are you making excuses because you wish to say no without hurting my feelings?" Severus demanded. "By all means, don't spare my feelings. I will not be offended if you refuse."

"But you might be punished," Remus said. At Severus' negligible shrug, he added, "It _matters_, Severus. If I can make your life easier in some way, even in this..."

"I _would_have rather died than marry Black," Severus said. "But you at least…I am certain I can put up with you for the rest of my life, Lupin."

Remus couldn't deny the frisson of desire that sent through him. To hear Severus speak these words with his unfathomable black gaze on Remus' face… Remus nodded and moved to stand very close to Severus. "Then let's do it."

* * *

 

Severus arched under Remus' questing hands, groaning and panting. Remus leaned down, his touch deft but tender. They were both nearing the height of passion, Severus' groans a counterpoint to Remus' growling as they moved together.

"Severus!" Remus' voice was husky, his breath stirring the hair at the back of Severus' neck.

Severus panted and arched and finally gasped, "Remus--"

And then Remus' teeth, sharp, demanding teeth, were biting down hard on Severus' neck, claiming, tearing open the skin. It sent a flood of ecstasy through them both. They cried out and climaxed as one, and then slumped, panting, to the mattress.

* * *

 

Afterwards, lying together in the bedroom Severus used when he was at headquarters, they didn't speak for a long time.

Severus didn't mind. He knew there were too many things he needed to tell Lupin, and not enough time in which to tell, but... He'd never had sex quite like that before. Despite the fact that Lupin took some time to get fully aroused, and that they had both seemed to feel awkward kissing, Severus had enjoyed it immensely. He could understand Lupin needing help with his arousal; Severus wasn't anything to look at, after all. But Lupin had taken the time to really turn Severus on, his hands and mouth playing over Severus' body. He had given Severus pleasure, rather than taking and taking and making Severus feel like a Knut-a-toss whore. Severus was much more used to quick, furtive assignations, usually rough, occasionally paid for.

The bite wound on Severus' neck throbbed from where Lupin had drawn blood. With his _teeth_. Severus shouldn't be surprised, he'd seen the damage Greyback could do even without being transformed, but despite the comments about eating people he'd often made, he'd never thought Greyback and Lupin were the same.

Severus knew he should tell Lupin about the Unbreakable Vow he had made with Narcissa. He should begin filling Lupin in on some of the intricacies of what Dumbledore meant to do. And most of all, he should persuade Lupin to come with him to the Headmaster, so he could explain to Albus what they had done--Albus already knew the why.

After a while he realised the silence had stretched past half an hour. He glanced down. Lupin--Remus, he supposed he should call him now--was asleep in his arms. He stared. Just the fact that Remus trusted him enough to sleep in his arms was astonishing. Long, thin fingers came up to play in the tawny, silver-shot hair. Oh, Merlin, what had they done?

He let Lupin sleep.

Nearly two hours later, when Severus had tried and failed to fall asleep himself and had long since gone on to the brooding that was a natural by-product of his current dilemma, Lupin woke. Severus felt the other man shift in his arms, then tense and go still. Resignedly, Severus settled the walls of Occlumency into place, so Lupin wouldn't have to see the emotional impact their coupling had had on Severus.

"Awake?" Severus muttered, trying to sound as if it had been an annoyance rather than a strange privilege to watch Lupin sleep. He already liked Remus better; he supposed it was the mating bond setting itself up in his heart.

"Yes, Severus, I'm so sorry," Remus replied, shifting again. He pulled away and sat up, watching Severus a tad warily, it seemed.

Severus sat up, too, wanting to clutch the blanket to his chest but not wishing to appear missish. He studied Remus' chest, remembering how it had felt pressed against his own. There was a scattering of brown hair across the muscular build, but not too much. There were more silvery scars across the skin than there was hair. Severus suddenly wanted to have sex again.

He cleared his throat and looked up. "There are…some things you should know."

Remus straightened and collected himself, crossing his legs and resting his elbows on his thighs. "All right," he said, clearly focussing his attention on Severus.

Severus sighed. "First of all," he said, trying to choke out the difficult words, "Albus…Albus is dying."

Remus let out an explosive noise that was part shock and part denial, but didn't otherwise interrupt Severus.

"He was attempting to lift a curse on a ring, I think. It didn't work. Have you seen him since..."

"Not since I took my leave of him, just before joining Greyback," Lupin said, his voice tight. "Three months ago."

Severus nodded. "I've managed to contain the curse to his hand, but…" He shook his head. "The ill effects will creep into the rest of his body eventually. I can postpone it, but only for so long." He sighed. "In the meantime, the Dark Lord has ordered Draco Malfoy to kill Dumbledore."

Remus didn't make that noise again, but he did protest, his voice full of disbelief. "Malfoy? He's a mere boy. How can Voldemort think Malfoy will succeed where all others have failed? Where _Voldemort himself_\--"

"Please do me the courtesy of not speaking his name in my presence," Severus snapped, covering the Mark with his palm. It throbbed just at the mention of the name.

Remus saw the motion, checked himself, and nodded. "I apologise," he murmured. "I wasn't aware that it pained you."

"Pain is an extreme word for it, but yes." Severus shook his head. "The Malfoys have displeased the Lord greatly. I am certain he means for…someone else to do it, in the end."

Remus was no fool, whatever else Severus had occasionally thought of him. "You," the werewolf murmured, his gaze fixed on Severus' face.

Severus merely inclined his head.

"And Albus knows, I take it? He must know."

Severus rubbed a hand over his face, grateful for the Occlumency that kept his despair at bay for this conversation. "There are already contingency plans in place," he agreed. "He tells me he is even leaving documents to prove my innocence, though they will not, of course, be discovered while the Dark Lord yet lives."

Remus nodded. "Yes, killing Dumbledore would certainly solidify your position at V--You-Know-Who's right hand."

"Precisely," Severus said, pleased that Remus saw this without having to have it spelled out for him. "I have also apprised Albus of my need to secure your loyalty, in order to protect your cover with the werewolves. He requested that we come to him when it is done."

"Then we should go soon. I have to return to the pack by noon or so tomorrow. It won't do for me to be absent too long."

Severus nodded. "We could Floo there, speak with him, and bring back supper to eat here. If you would like."

Remus nodded, too, not questioning the offer to spend time together. Severus felt a twinge of relief to have his thorough research on werewolf mating proven correct.

"We'd best get dressed, then," Remus said, his limbs uncoiling in a loose movement. He climbed out of the bed, unabashedly naked, and Severus could only ogle, watching Remus step into a pair of pants and the baggy trousers he'd been wearing under his robes. The werewolf tugged his tatty jumper over his head, which made his hair stick out, and glanced at Severus. "Or was I meant to go alone?"

Severus arched a brow at him. Was that a _teasing_ note in Lupin's voice, or just a _mocking_ one? It was difficult to tell the difference.

Remus faltered. "I…you _are_ coming with me to tell him, aren't you?" he asked. It was the first time Severus had ever suspected Remus might have moments of uncertainty. He nodded.

"I wouldn't make you face the headmaster with that information alone," he said quietly. He stood and began dressing, trying to hide his body without letting it be obvious that he knew he was ugly. He needn't have worried; Remus' face cleared and he sat down to pull on his socks and shoes.

In just a few minutes they were standing at the fireplace in the library. Severus took a handful of Floo powder. "We'll go straight to Dumbledore's office," he said. "He's expecting us at some point this evening." Remus nodded, and Severus Flooed.

 

Dumbledore's office was always a comfort to Severus. It was full of stupid gadgets and gizmos, but it reflected very well the chaotic, brilliant, and slightly mad personality of the headmaster. He had spent many hours in this room, sometimes injured or worn down from Death Eater activity, sometimes merely visiting for a game of chess. And the room, just like the man who had occupied it for all of Severus' memory, never changed. There was always comfort to be had here, in the form of tea and sweets and firelight, or perhaps elf-made wine and low murmuring voices--but always, always, the Headmaster's love.

Severus and Albus' relationship had been rocky for years, of course, from the moment Sirius Black had used his werewolf friend to try to kill Severus, to the night Severus had cried for his lost friend. But Dumbledore had seen something in Severus' grief that convinced him of the younger man's repentance, and they had moved forward from that night.

Tonight there was a trio of comfortable-looking chairs drawn up in front of the fire, and Dumbledore was sitting in one of them, a book open on his lap and a glass of wine at hand. He closed the book when Severus came through.

"Good evening, Severus."

Severus just nodded and stepped aside so Remus could come through. He watched Remus' face when the other man saw Dumbledore, the blackened hand lying twisted and lifeless on the cover of the book.

"Remus, my boy. Forgive me for not standing," Dumbledore said. "I'm afraid I am no longer as…energetic…as I once was. I have been attempting to conserve myself for my work with Harry."

Severus knew his eyes flashed with pique at that comment; he had been trying to get the Headmaster to tell him what was going on between him and Potter for weeks now, but Dumbledore maintained they were all safer if Severus didn't know.

"Of course," Remus said.

"Please, sit down. Help yourself to a drink, if you like." Dumbledore indicated the bottle of elf-made wine.

Remus nodded and poured for himself and for Severus, surprising Severus by allowing their fingers to brush when he handed it to him. Severus was unaccountably embarrassed by the sharpness of Dumbledore's gaze on them--he had known, after all, what Severus had intended for this evening. He drew away from Remus, retreating into his own space.

"Severus has told you, I imagine, of the situation we find ourselves in?"

Remus nodded. "I'm sorry, Headmaster."

"Nonsense. Death is the next great adventure. But of course it impacts Severus' situation, and therefore your involvement with Severus."

Remus nodded again. "Yes, of course. He said your death will probably be at his hands."

Dumbledore's gaze was very bright on Remus'. Severus glanced from one to the other, trying to discern the meaning behind their words. After a moment Dumbledore relaxed a little.

"You know, I hope, how very much I appreciate your position with the werewolves. If any can be delivered from Tom, it must be done."

Remus looked down into his wineglass. "Not many are willing to listen to me. But I do my best."

"That is all I can ask."

Remus sighed and took a gulp of his wine. Severus blinked. The werewolf usually had such control over himself it was maddening. Two minutes with the Headmaster and he seemed suddenly downtrodden, as if he'd lost heart.

"Severus," Dumbledore said softly, "would you give us a few minutes?"

Severus raised his eyebrows, but he got up and walked to the window, looking out over the starlit Quidditch pitch. He could hear the murmur of their voices, but no words. After a moment Remus' voice rose sharply, though all Severus caught was "--no call for yet another--" and then came the buzzing which meant the Headmaster was employing the Muffliato charm Severus had invented. He turned to lean against the windowsill, his arms folded over his chest, and watched them unabashedly.

Remus was _arguing_ with the Headmaster. His expression was angry and he gestured with both his free hand and his wine glass, while Dumbledore sat back in his chair with a bemused expression and listened. Eventually Remus seemed to run himself down, and Dumbledore said a few words. They set off another spate of disagreement from Remus, but this time, when he finished, Dumbledore simply shook his head, and Remus' shoulders slumped again in apparent resignation. Dumbledore said something, then gestured, and the buzzing vanished.

Severus was moving forward, scowling, before he quite knew what he was doing. Oh, of course, the impulse to protect his mate. He went to sit in the empty chair as if that had been his intent all along. Before he reached it, Dumbledore said, "Severus, I must ask you to undertake one last vow."

Severus shrugged. What was one more, at this point? Hopefully all the conflicting vows wouldn't eventually kill him on their own. If he was very lucky, a few of them might cancel each other out.

"You will both kneel, please," Dumbledore said, and Severus felt a shock go down his spine as Remus slid out of his chair and held out his hand to Severus. Another Unbreakable Vow? But he didn't protest, simply knelt across from Remus and took the broader hand in his own. Remus' fingers gripped his tightly. He looked up to find the werewolf's eyes burning on his. He just looked back in resignation. What was there to do?

Dumbledore drew his wand and held it near their hands. "Remus Lupin, do you swear to care for your mate Severus, and to protect him however possible, and to pursue your own happiness when you are given a chance?"

Remus sighed. "I do so swear." He watched morosely as the first rope of light encircled their hands.

"And Severus, do you swear to be faithful to your mate, to have faith in him, and to seize any happiness you can?"

Severus glanced up at Dumbledore in surprise, but said, "I do so swear." A second rope joined the first.

"And do you both swear to live for one another, as well as for yourselves and your causes?"

The expression Remus and Severus exchanged was startled, but they replied in unison. "We do so swear."

The third rope joined the first two, caging their hands in light for a moment. Then the three strands twined themselves into a single cord, binding them together. Severus gazed at Remus and felt the vow settling into his soul, making room among all the others. He nodded, and after a moment Remus nodded back.

The light dissolved.

Dumbledore slumped back in his chair. "Thank you both for indulging an old man. I hope you will forgive me, I am very tired."

Severus looked at him for a long time, but the Headmaster said nothing else, merely rested his head in his hand. Finally Severus stood, tugging Remus to his feet, and they left.

* * *

 

Severus was sitting at his desk, marking the NEWT-level essays about how to put a stopper in death and trying not to sneer at their efforts (which would leave them all dead), when he heard a faint tapping at his office door. Frowning, he stood and opened it, staring in surprise at a brown-haired Nymphadora Tonks. She gave him a wan smile and he stood aside to let her in.

As soon as she was inside, she settled herself into the chair that usually only Dumbledore had occasion to use, crossing her legs and watching him.

Severus raised his eyebrows and went to sit at his desk again. "To what do I owe this dubious honour?" he asked.

Her smile settled better on her face, and her hair went from mouse brown to Hufflepuff yellow in an instant. "First of all, I'm here to find out if my Auntie Bella is still hanging about Hogsmeade."

"I haven't heard anything to the contrary," Severus said slowly, "though I also haven't seen Bellatrix for several weeks."

She nodded. "Well, we're not going to relax the watch on the village, that's for sure." She suddenly pulled open her robes, showing him miles of tanned skin and a leather bustier. He felt his brows snap together as he scowled at her, but she ignored him and fished around in her bustier. After a moment she came up with a scrap of folded parchment.

"This is for you," she said. "I was instructed to wait for a response." She folded her arms across her impressive bosom and cocked a striped eyebrow at him. "Should I ask _you_ why Dumbledore's had me 'pining' for Remus for the past four months? It gets boring, walking around with brown hair all the time."

Severus blinked, surprised but relieved. "Oh, you mean you _aren't_ so passionately in love with him that your magic has failed you?" he asked sardonically. "What a relief." He ignored the rest of her question and unfolded the parchment.

The note bore only three words, in a small, neat hand, but it kicked up a painful flare of longing inside him.

_I miss you_.

At least it was genuine. There were no false promises of love, no pretty images. But it was honest. Thanks to the bond magic, they missed each other. Severus thought of Lupin's golden-hazel eyes and told himself he didn't wish for love. Then he thought of how Lupin had made him arch and writhe with pleasure. He took a quill and added one word: _I miss you, too_.

Then he folded it and handed it back to her. "You'll see him again soon?"

She grinned. "I just make myself look like one of the pack and drop the note with him. It's not even dangerous, just tedious. I have to wait until someone wanders off into the woods, stun them, take the message to him, and then revive 'em."

Severus nodded. "Good." He narrowed his eyes slightly. "Be careful, Nymphadora. Greyback may seem like a brute, but he is far more clever than he lets on."

She tilted her head, birdlike, and watched him for a moment, ignoring his habitual use of her hated given name. Finally she shrugged. "You be careful, too. You're in more danger than the rest of us."

He arched an eyebrow at her, then stood. "Get out. I have papers to mark."

Laughing, she went.

* * *

 

_HQ 3:30_ had been the whole of the message, so there Severus was. He swallowed and let himself in, heading to the basement kitchen. The smell of coffee assailed his nostrils.

"I haven't long." Lupin's voice was low, sexy. Severus felt a thrill down to the pit of his stomach. He began to turn and was shocked when he felt Lupin's mouth on his. Fingers slid into his hair and he wished he had washed it today.

"Severus." Remus breathed his desire, his need, and it was intoxicating. Severus gave up and melted into Remus' embrace, kissing him with increasing desire. He had never been _wanted_ like this; it was dangerous and wonderful.

"Oh, Lupin," he murmured.

Remus laughed breathily and trailed kisses up Severus' jaw. "Too long," he gasped. "Missed you so much!" He took Severus' earlobe in his teeth and pulled slowly away, the teeth dragging a flash of desire up from the pit of his belly.

"God, Lupin, do that again!" he ordered, shocking himself.

Remus growled and obeyed, sucking on the earlobe for a moment before pulling away. "I think of you," he murmured. "I dream of you." He kissed Severus hard. "When I wank, I imagine you."

Severus' eyes widened. This was too much--too much emotion, too much like _caring_ for each other. He needed Lupin to shut up, so he kissed him again, pressing him against the wall. Lupin seemed to enjoy it for a while, but then he pushed Severus away gently.

"Don't you think of me?" he asked, his voice sounding uncertain, and Severus was thrilled all over that Lupin was uncertain of _him_.

"Of course I do," he said. "Who else do I have to think of?" The words themselves were harsh, perhaps even a bit cruel, but his gaze was softer than he'd meant for it to be, and Lupin seemed to understand. His golden-hazel eyes ignited and he kissed Severus again, deeply, pulling him close.

They kissed for a long while, hands finding their way inside robes, under shirts and jumpers, down trousers, stroking, massaging, teasing, until they were both breathless. A sudden crackle from the fire reminded them they were in the kitchen. Remus pulled away, panting, his eyes avid on Severus' face.

"Upstairs," he gasped, and Severus agreed.

 

It was too short. They were both so desperate for each other that the sex was over ridiculously quickly, and after just a few minutes of basking together, Remus had rolled off the bed and was dressing again. He muttered a quick cleaning charm, then pulled his ragged, patched clothing back on.

"I'm sorry, Severus, truly," he said, looking at Severus, who was still lying on the bed, trying to gather himself. "Greyback expects me back by supper, and I still have to make a trip to Diagon Alley." He finished tying his shoes, then knelt on the bed to kiss Severus slowly.

Severus found that his fingers were tangled in Lupin's robes, trying to hold on to him. He let go, embarrassed.

"I wish I could stay," Remus whispered. "I miss you."

"At least we had time for a shag," Severus muttered. He sighed and sat up. "I do understand, you know, Lupin. It isn't as if I've no experience of the sort of demands placed on you."

Remus smiled faintly. "I know," he said, tracing his fingers down Severus' cheek. "I'm grateful."

Severus shifted uncomfortably. He didn't like it when Remus tried to be affectionate. It wasn't real, so what did it matter? Severus didn't crave tenderness or devotion, and he was too much of a realist to think that what Remus felt for him was anything but a result of the mating, no matter what he himself felt, or what Dumbledore had been trying to foster between them.

Remus' expression shifted subtly, growing a bit sad. Severus shrugged off the guilty suspicion that it was his fault.

"I'll see you later, Severus," Remus murmured, and kissed him one more time.

Severus couldn't help it that his hand came up to bury itself in the soft, shaggy hair, but he told himself he'd only done it to make Remus happy.

* * *

 

Severus had few real luxuries in his life. One of his favourites was the reclining chair in his quarters at Hogwarts. It was oversized and covered in a deep blue fabric that was almost dark enough to be called black. It had a charm on it to warm the occupant, and when reclined it was actually long enough to support both head and feet. Severus didn't use it when marking papers or staying current with potions journals; he only used it for relaxing--pleasure reading, meditation, or as a retreat from nightmares.

It came as a complete shock to him, the first time he returned home from the Dark Lord's side and found Remus Lupin asleep in his recliner.

He was wearing the faded brown robes Severus hated precisely because they made him look old. He had obviously settled in to read--his reading glasses were still perched askew on his nose--but the book had fallen, unopened, from his lap. His head had lolled to one side, his mouth slightly open. His hair and beard were more grizzled than ever, and the deeply graven lines beside his mouth made him look exhausted.

Yet his expression was peaceful and his overlong hair soft, as Severus stroked thin fingers through it. Severus felt a burst of joy in his chest and knew it was because of the mating. But the tenderness that made him cover Remus with a blanket was not.

He wanted to wait up until Remus woke, but he was drained from several hours spent with the Dark Lord. He was unwilling to wake Remus, so finally he went to his bedroom and undressed, leaving the door open when he went to bed. If Remus were half as intelligent as Severus thought him, he would realise, if he woke, that it was an invitation.

Severus woke while it was still dark to the feel of a warm body pressed against his back and strong arms wrapped around him. Smiling sleepily, he turned until he could press his face against the hot skin of Remus' neck. Then he went to sleep again.

* * *

 

Life grew harder, after Dumbledore's death. The spying, the constant meetings with the Dark Lord, the strain of guarding his thoughts constantly, were taking their toll--and the worst thing yet was that Severus hadn't managed to see Remus since the battle. Severus had never been well-liked by the other Order members, except perhaps Nymphadora Tonks and Molly Weasley, but he had at least felt as though he had allies. Once he had killed his mentor, Severus became a man hunted by his former comrades. That the Ministry had fallen to Voldemort's machinations, thereby ensuring Severus was not actually a man wanted for murder, was no consolation.

Being told Voldemort was going to name him Headmaster of Hogwarts felt similarly unrewarding, though he knew it was, of course, the best use the Dark Lord could make of him. But despite the bitterness and depression Severus felt, he could bear all of it until he learned--at a Death Eater meeting in Malfoy Manor, of all places--that Lupin had _married_ Nymphadora Tonks.

He didn't react, didn't even flinch when Voldemort killed his former colleague, but inside he felt as if the last shred of hope he'd clung to had died. Lupin was supposed to believe in him. Why else would Severus and Albus have told him in advance about the Headmaster's approaching death? What could he be thinking, to marry someone else? He had told the Dark Lord that Lupin was Severus' source of information within the Order, and he maintained that. Even betrayed, his first instinct had been to protect his faithless mate. But he wasn't sure why he bothered.

He went back to his quarters at the school, planning to drink himself into a stupor and burn the small photograph he kept in the drawer of his bedside table. It had been taken surreptitiously at an Order meeting, as Lupin was leaning forward and smiling at something Bill Weasley had said. Severus didn't know how many times, on lonely nights, he had watched the werewolf laugh, lean back, and push his hair out of his eyes, but he knew the edges of the photo paper were softened with wear.

As he let himself wearily into his rooms, he registered that a lamp was lit inside. He tensed and drew his wand, but Lupin's low voice was already speaking from the recliner.

"You didn't change your password."

He lowered his wand, staring at Lupin, unable to breathe, unable to think.

Lupin stood and took a few steps towards him. "I told myself that if you'd changed your password, it would mean you didn't want me anymore. But I had to try. I've been watching the school. I saw you leave. I didn't want you to catch me at it, you see, in case you didn't want me. I didn't want you to know I'd ever been here, if that was the case."

The golden-hazel eyes were fixed on Severus' face, their expression completely open, vulnerable. Lupin half-smiled hopefully, but it faded. "I knew you had cut your ties with everyone else, you see. But Minerva said you'd returned with a Ministry decree in hand, that you were to be the Headmaster. She's so angry, Severus. I pretended to be angry as well…I didn't know what else to do. We'd told no one but Dumbledore and You-Know-Who about our mating, but there were others who suspected…something. All I could think was that I needed to protect your cover…"

"You're rambling, Lupin," Severus said finally.

"I thought you might have seen the announcement in the _Prophet_," Remus said finally. "Dora asked me to marry her, to throw off Fleur and Kingsley's suspicions. It was why Albus had her telling Molly Weasley--and anyone else who would listen--that she was madly in love with me." He twisted his hands together, and Severus could see he was fiddling with a gold band that looked out of place on Lupin's finger. "I didn't want you to think I'd been unfaithful. I--she's a lovely girl, but I'm gay, for one thing, and mated to you, for another. I--I regard you highly. I am…fond of you. I wouldn't break faith with you."

Severus pushed past Lupin and sat down heavily in the recliner, burying his face in his hands. His heart felt as if a giant were squeezing it, and he thought he might be sick. He wondered why he was reacting like this. After a while he became aware that he was shaking, and that Lupin was sitting on the arm of the chair, his arms around Severus.

"I'm sorry," Lupin was saying, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I hoped you would know, but…Severus, I'm sorry."

Severus lifted one hand to tangle in Lupin's hair.

 

After a long time they went to bed, where Lupin devoted a great deal of time to arousing Severus and bringing him to the peak again and again, relentlessly wringing pleasure from him but not allowing Severus to come until they were both drenched in sweat and gasping and straining for release. When they climaxed, it was together, and Severus clung to Remus, finally allowing himself to weep for Dumbledore, and for the relief of not having lost Remus after all. Remus held him, seeming not to care about the come drying across his stomach and chest, or the half-moon cuts where Severus' nails had broken the skin, or about the salt water dripping down his neck.

It was Severus' first inkling that perhaps there was still happiness available, somewhere beyond the war.

* * *

 

"…So as it turns out, the marriage is as much a cover for Dora as it is for me," Remus concluded wryly. He still wished Dora had told him the truth from the outset, but at least they had formulated a plan to deal with her rapidly advancing pregnancy. It would make him look a complete cad, but it had the advantage of being totally in keeping with his earlier 'too old, too poor, too dangerous' line of argument.

Severus trailed a finger along Remus' spine, making him shiver. "Of course. Nice young pureblood witches don't get themselves up the duff if they aren't married, particularly if they've been sleeping with a Death Eater for information."

"Still, you have to admit, she's resourceful. No one would ever suspect Dora of being Yaxley's bit on the side."

Severus snorted. "Oh, yes, Miss Tonks--forgive me, Mrs Lupin--should certainly have been Sorted into Slytherin, rather than Hufflepuff."

Remus shuddered. "Please, don't call her that again," he said. It still horrified him, in a way, that he had a _wife_. He'd never wanted a wife, he certainly would never have wanted one thirteen years his junior, and it galled him that all his so-called friends thought he should be ecstatic that not only did he have a young, reckless wife, but that he was going to be a father. Not that he didn't like Tonks, of course. He did. He just wasn't at all interested in being her husband.

Severus was laughing at him. "You are incurably queer, you know that?" He slid a bare, skinny foot up along Remus' naked leg, which Remus took as proof that Severus _liked_ his being incurably queer.

"You're one to talk," Remus said. "I've heard Alecto Carrow has taken to haunting the Headmaster's chambers, not realising you're actually living down here."

Severus cocked his head, black eyes avid on Remus' face. "You never told me why you came looking for me in the dungeon, instead of up there."

Remus smiled, remembering. "I just knew," he said, and kissed Severus' neck. "You would never think yourself fit to take his place. You could never live in his rooms." He'd planned to look there, if Severus' quarters in the dungeons appeared to be unused, but he'd been admitted with the original password (_Aconitum napellus_) and he'd seen at once that Severus had never moved his things out of the dungeon.

"You're such a nuisance," Severus muttered, though he was massaging Remus' arse, so Remus knew he didn't mean it--or at least didn't mean it cruelly. Remus chuckled and rubbed his groin against Severus', liking the way Severus hissed in pleasure.

It was so much better now that they'd given in to their emotions. Instead of just pretending it was a physical bond that imposed on their emotional life, they'd acknowledged the importance of their feelings for each other. It allowed them both to finally relax in the presence of another person, to take comfort in simply being together, rather than a mere physical coupling.

"The Dark Lord still expects you to turn on the Order at a crucial moment," Severus gasped, though his concentration was obviously suffering under the influence of lust.

Remus sighed. "I'll have to, somehow," he said. "I tried to get Harry to take me with him, so I could give you information about whatever it is he's doing, but…" He shook his head ruefully. "He called me a coward and said I shouldn't abandon my family."

"Potter is childishly quick to name other men cowards," Severus said, his voice sharp with loathing.

Remus rubbed against Severus again, liking the slide of cock against cock. "He may grow out of it," he gasped. "Eventually."

"Oh, Merlin, let us cease speaking of Potter while we're having sex, or I'll never be able to stay hard," Severus muttered.

Remus laughed and lost himself in Severus' body.

* * *

 

"The Dark Lord has the Elder Wand," Severus murmured, not loosening his grip on Remus. Their coupling had been frantic and furious after so long apart, and they were both still recovering, but there was information that needed to be passed along.

Remus sighed. "You knew he would take it soon," he said. "But you still don't think he'll be able to use it properly?"

"_I_ was the one who killed Dumbledore," Severus muttered. "Although he thinks I did it in his service, I did it as much for Dumbledore as to maintain my cover. I am reasonably certain that the Elder Wand would answer to _me_, not to the Dark Lord."

"Good." Remus kissed Severus' neck. "Be careful, Severus, oh, be careful."

"Of course." Severus didn't mention that once the Dark Lord realised that Severus was the proper owner of the Elder Wand, Severus' life would be forfeit. Never mind that merely disarming Severus would be enough, the Dark Lord wouldn't hesitate to kill him. "What of the Weasley girl? Is she safe?"

"Yes, the family has gone into hiding, now that it's known Ron isn't suffering from Spattergroit. At least you were able to warn them."

"The girl was a thorn in my side--or rather, in the Carrows' sides--but there is no denying she has courage. I should hate to see her life wasted." Not to mention he occasionally saw in Ginny Weasley reminders of the red-headed girl he had loved, when he was a boy. He saw no reason to say that, however; Lupin certainly could see it for himself.

* * *

 

"She named him Ted Remus Lupin." Remus said, sounding appalled. He made a face, and Severus couldn't help but snigger.

"I didn't even _like_ Ted Tonks, and then she gave the boy _my_ name as well? Dear Merlin." Remus collapsed onto the bed, and Severus couldn't resist stroking his fingers through the tawny hair that spread around his head like a halo.

"At least she didn't die in childbirth and leave you responsible for the little brat."

Remus snorted with laughter. "Oh, I don't mind babies. They're demanding, but they're also a bit unconditional about whom they love. It's just knowing how warped my legacy has become…" He sighed. "Though I don't imagine I have any right to complain to you about that."

"No indeed," said Severus, refusing to allow the gloom to overtake him. It was nearly May, and Voldemort was beginning to make noises of displeasure regarding his pet Headmaster. Severus had no illusions that he was likely to survive the next few months, but he was taking a rigorous course of antidotes and Nagini-specific antivenin, as well as carrying a handful of bezoars in various pockets. All the same, it was impossible to cover every eventuality; he was relying heavily on his experience of Unbreakable Vows and his hope that the web of vows he had taken would keep him alive rather than killing him sooner.

He sighed. "I don't think we should meet again," he said reluctantly. "The Dark Lord is preparing to make his final move against Potter. I think it will be too dangerous for us to see each other after this."

Remus' expression crumpled, but he bit his lower lip and nodded. He wrapped his arms around Severus. "We'll have to make the most of tonight, then," he whispered.

Severus felt a tremor of emotion that he tried valiantly to suppress. He hadn't been able to deny that he loved Lupin, but he could and did deny that love mattered. They both knew it wasn't true, that this love mattered more than anything, that this love was a source of redemption for both of them. "We will," he murmured. "And after the war, we'll throw away all the stupid pretence, and we'll find a way to be happy."

He felt Remus smile against his neck. "We will," his lover whispered. "After all, we promised, didn't we?"

"An Unbreakable Vow," Severus agreed. And he hoped to God he was right about the nature of that vow, otherwise they were very, very fucked.

* * *

 

"Why are we at Grandmère Eugenie's house?" Remus asked, staring around him at the rolling French countryside and then up at the huge farmhouse.

"Oh, is that how it appears to you?" Dumbledore looked mildly intrigued. "You'd be surprised at the number of people who think they're at King's Cross station."

"King's Cross?" Remus laughed. Then he frowned at the Headmaster. "You're dead. Er. Aren't you?"

"Oh, certainly, my boy. Quite dead, for nearly a year now." Dumbledore beamed at him.

"Then Dolohov did kill me," Remus said, sighing. "I didn't think I'd dodged quite quickly enough."

"Well…." Dumbledore drew the word out. "Yes, after a fashion." Remus looked sharply at him and he laughed. "I think you'll find your life isn't quite over."

Remus narrowed his eyes. "Will I? What have you done, Albus?"

"Oh, my dear Remus, it's actually something _you've_ done. You see, you swore to pursue your own happiness, and to live for Severus. From the chat I recently had with Harry, you don't seem to have had a chance to do that." Dumbledore beamed at him. "Therefore, you're being sent back for a time."

Remus blinked. "I'm being sent back…just to be happy?" He stared in bewilderment at the Headmaster.

Albus' eyes looked sad for a moment, then he smiled again. "Exactly."

* * *

 

"You idiot," Severus growled, holding Remus' nose and pouring the healing draught down Lupin's throat. The wound in his neck would _not_ stop oozing, and it throbbed persistently, which was doing nothing for his mood. The very fact that he'd been "killed" by _Nagini_ instead of the Dark Lord himself was galling. Couldn't the Dark Lord have spared a curse for him? No, instead Severus, his most faithful servant (as far as he knew) had been given to his pet as _food_. At least she hadn't bloody eaten him the way she did the others. Severus smirked. He was no doubt more foul-tasting than Charity Burbage had been.

Lupin didn't stir, though he looked as peaceful as if he were sleeping. He hadn't swallowed the potions, exactly, but they would trickle down his throat eventually. Severus knew he could be revived; after all, Severus was alive, albeit weak and ill. He'd taken as many precautions as possible, but he'd not thought to carry Resanguination Potions, so he'd bled out like a damn fool on the floor of the Shrieking Shack. Nevertheless, his Vow to Lupin had kept him from actually dying, and that thought alone had given him the strength and determination to crawl to the Forbidden Forest, where he'd been able to dose himself with a few things that would aid his recovery.

Then he'd just had to wait for them to bury Lupin. God, what a horrible thing to watch. He'd sworn, watching the hordes of people who wept over Lupin's grave as Potter talked about what a wonderful man he'd been, that the next time Lupin died, Severus would make sure he didn't outlive him. He had stayed disguised, head bowed, just inside the trees, through Potter's speech and McGonagall's few words, and when the mourners shuffled back to the castle, he'd wanted to throw himself on the ground by Lupin's grave, even though he'd believed, he'd _known_ that Lupin couldn't be dead. No, he wouldn't be able to handle watching that again. Something in his mind had been howling the entire time the Squib labourers were shovelling dirt on top of his lover's coffin.

Severus glanced up at the moon, which was already in the first quarter. Full moon would be on them soon enough; he would have to see about the Wolfsbane, since death apparently hadn't cured Lupin's lycanthropy. Surely if Lupin were fully human, Severus wouldn't still be yearning for his mate.

"You rarely lie to yourself, and seldom with much success," Severus muttered. "Why bother still pretending it's the mating bond that keeps you together?" He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. He was so fucking tired. He rested a hand on Lupin's chest and tilted his head back to the sky, his posture a silent plea.

He knew the Nagini-specific anti-venin should keep him from bleeding to death, but he also knew it would take some time to really heal from the bite. Not to mention he'd lost a great deal of blood already, and he hadn't the means to make himself a blood replenishing potion. For now, he would have to do it the old-fashioned way: eating large amounts of iron-rich food.

He hadn't had time to finish planning for what might happen if the Vow kept them alive. He hoped Remus wouldn't be averse to hiding out in the Forbidden Forest for some time. Severus knew there were places to take shelter, though of course the Acromantula had seemed restless since the battle. He thought they'd acquired quite the taste for human flesh. Then again, Lupin wasn't actually human, and Severus still knew more curses and hexes than anyone now living.

After that, Severus had only unspecific thoughts of fleeing England, going where no one would know them, but where his Potioners' Guild certificate would be recognised. He hoped Remus wouldn't be difficult about it; but if they stayed, Remus would be saddled with the brat that wasn't even his, and no one would want them to be together. It was hard to say if Remus would cave under that pressure.

The body under Severus' hand moved suddenly. Severus jumped and then bent to peer into his lover's face, holding his breath.

"Remus?"

The man groaned, then his chest shuddered and he coughed, a harsh, wracking sound. Flecks of dirt hit Severus' face. Bugger. He'd hoped the coffin was sealed better than that. At least Remus hadn't seemed to be breathing when they buried him.

"Remus?" Severus repeated, more urgently. He wanted to make sure the Vow had brought Remus back whole. It would be inconvenient if it had left the higher thought processes behind, for example, because intelligence wasn't required for unthinking devotion. Unbreakable Vows of this sort could be tricky things. Then again, it had been crafted by a master.

"S-Sev-erus?" Remus spluttered between coughs. Severus breathed a sigh of relief.

"You're alive," he told Remus. "But you've just been exhumed. I hope you didn't wake up in there. You didn't seem to be breathing when I pulled you out just now."

Remus shuddered and clutched at Severus' hand. "No," he managed. "No, I was at Grandmère Eugenie's house."

Severus stared at him. Perhaps he'd been too hasty in his relief.

"It…Dumbledore was there. He said I was being sent back so I could be happy."

Severus' face broke into a smile. It felt odd, but he was suddenly too grateful to contain it. "Yes. You swore, after all."

"He said that as well." Remus pushed himself up onto his elbows and looked down with distaste at the robes he'd been buried in. "Is this all because of that Unbreakable Vow?"

"Right in one," Severus said, smirking at him. "I didn't die at all, though--"

"Merlin, your neck!"

"Ah. Yes." Severus shrugged. "I didn't die, but I'm rather weak. Blood loss, as well as the strength of that blasted snake's venom. The Headmaster did warn me that Voldemort would be more protective of his snake at some point. He could have given me more details than that." He snorted. "Nonetheless, I took that as a good enough reason to begin ingesting potions and serums designed to protect me. They did their job well enough, though I suspect it was our Vow itself that really kept me alive."

Remus' tired, lined face suddenly broke into a smile so joyful that it transformed. Remus seemed almost to be glowing. "Then…we're both alive…and you said Voldemort's name…We won the war?"

Severus found that the smile was contagious. "We won," he confirmed. "Though everyone thinks I'm dead, and you've been buried."

Remus laughed and sat up all the way, wrapping his arms around Severus and kissing him soundly. "Then we can start fresh. Just the two of us, somewhere away from all this."

"We can indeed," Severus murmured, his arms coming up to hold Remus. Relief flooded him; Remus didn't want to return to the lives they'd had before. They both had skills that would be useful in any Wizarding community, and there were places in the world were werewolves weren't so reviled. Severus smiled. "We can indeed."


End file.
